


Fear

by Melina



Series: Epigraph [4]
Category: A Discovery of Witches (TV), All Souls Trilogy - Deborah Harkness
Genre: Episode 1x04, Episode 1x05, Episode 1x06, Episode Related, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-15 06:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21249089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melina/pseuds/Melina
Summary: She thought of Matthew waiting for her, of how much she loved him and wanted to be with him.  She let conscious thought go, listening to her heart, and she flew.  As she rose in the air, she felt the spiderwebs break around her, becoming no more frightening than dust.





	Fear

Diana screamed and screamed again as Satu tried to rip her open. She screamed from the overwhelming sense of helplessness, from the pain, from the fear. Fear that Satu would kill her, fear that she would find whatever it was she sought, fear of being turned over to the terrifying vampire who waited in the shadows.

Worst of all, she feared never seeing Matthew again. How had she come to this? She had been in his arms less than twelve hours ago, loving him and being loved in return. She had slept next to him all night, and she had been safe and truly happy. And now she might die in this miserable ruin, at the hands of an insane witch and a cruel vampire who saw her as nothing but a means to an end, a curiosity, a puzzle to be solved. 

She couldn't defend herself from Satu, not without control over her magic. Matthew had said it before he left for Oxford: she didn't know herself. He had used the words to hurt her, trying to drive her away, she knew, but that didn't make them any less true. She didn't know herself, not when it came to her magic. She didn't know why she was so different from other witches, why she supposedly had the genetic markers of a powerful witch but couldn't perform the most basic spells or control whatever power she did have. 

All she could do was scream and beg Satu to stop.

When Satu was done with her, Diana's body was aching and seared with pain. Satu's idea of an act of mercy was dropping her into the oubliette to keep her out of the vampire's hands, but the fall injured her further, and Diana was terrified of close, dark places.

She wasn't sure if her parents truly appeared to her, or if she had lost consciousness and dreamed of them. She felt invisible spiderwebs all around her body, sticky and confining, filling her with dread that something dangerous was lurking just out of sight.

But her mother's voice was so strong and sure, promising that the shadow prince would come to her, and he did. Matthew found her, and he was there; he had come to help her. The sound of his voice, even so far out of her reach, was a balm to her soul.

But even her shadow prince couldn't save her alone. As her mother had said, she had to save herself. She had to find her magic, control it. Her first attempt failed; she was thinking too much. Her father's voice reminded her to look to her heart, and she did. She thought of Matthew waiting for her, of how much she loved him and wanted to be with him. She let conscious thought go, listening to her heart, and she flew. As she rose in the air, she felt the spiderwebs break around her, disappearing into nothing, becoming no more frightening than dust.

She made it out of the tiny opening to the oubliette. "I've got you," Matthew said, lifting her into his arms, embracing her, holding her tightly. On the ride back to Sept-Tours, Matthew never stopped touching her, his arm firmly around her even as she insisted on walking inside under her own power.

He took care of her, treating her injuries with gentle and practiced hands, telling her how brave she was, calling her _ma lionne_. She didn't feel brave. She was still frightened, no longer of what had happened, but of what might happen, how Matthew might react. Would he leave her again, as he had after Domenico's intrusive visit? Leave not because he didn't want to be with her, but out of a desire to protect her, out of a belief that she was safer without him?

She wasn't afraid of Matthew, she never could be. But she desperately feared losing him, to an enemy or to his own sense of honor. He had said they were one now, they were bound together, but would that keep him with her if he feared his presence put her life in danger?

His quiet, steady love as he cared for her made Diana slowly come to understand that he had no intention of leaving. He stayed with her all night, a constant, reassuring presence. She slept without dreams, and woke in the morning feeling much better, which was strange, given her injuries.

But the morning brought with it a new revelation, and a new fear when Matthew told her she had most likely been spellbound, that she had only broken through the binding spell during her abduction out of profound need. Being spellbound was a horrible fate for a witch, only performed on the truly irredeemable, on those who harmed others. Who would do such a thing to her, and why? What had she done, what could she have done, to deserve such a punishment?

Fear rose in her again, but Matthew was there, right there. He took her in his arms and promised that he would be there, that they would figure it out together.

"I'll never let you go again," he said, and deep in her heart, she believed him. She was not free of fear, but she silently let go of the worry that Matthew would disappear forever if he thought his absence would protect her. 

Whatever awaited, she wouldn't have to face it alone, not now, not ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> All feedback appreciated! If you enjoyed, please [reblog](https://melinafandom.tumblr.com/post/188797653345/fear).


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